500% sure i annoy literally every person

(Source: straighthater, via 80srockwillneverdie)

My blog has first birthday! For all my lovely follwers, im gonna hug u all and buy some beer :D!

  • baby: m-m-ma-
  • mother: are you trying to say mama? come on baby! you can do it!
  • baby: m-m-m-
  • mother: yes, say mama!
  • baby: ma-ma!
  • mother: oh my! it's a miracle! baby's first wor-
  • baby: just killed a man
  • mother: wut
  • baby: put a gun against his head
  • mother: u are a baby, where are you getting firearms
  • baby: pulled my trigger now he's dead
  • mother: you are only a baby. what is going on
  • baby: mama, life had just begun
  • mother: yeah u were born like 2 minutes ago
  • baby: but now i've gone and thrown it all away
  • mother: am i being punk'd
  • baby: mammaaaaaaa ooOOOOoohhHHHHh
  • back up babies: (any way the wind blows)
  • baby: didn't mean to make you cry. if im not back again this time tomorrow
  • mother: where u gonna go. u a baby. u dont even have a driver's license
  • baby: carry onnnn, carry onnn, as if nothing really matters
  • mother: omg my baby's first words!


burns every piece of evidence that shows i lived before the age of 14

(via pretty-much-tangled)


there’s a special place in hell reserved just for me

it’s called the throne

(via pour-some-sugar-on-sav)


why do parents get so upset about little things like goddamn I left a plate in the sink not a dead body

(Source: dumbgay, via mrsbrianjohnson)


true love is still loving your favorite band member after their 80s era

(via dead-graves)


Explain to me how my room is always messy if the only thing I do there is sleep

(via 80sheadbanger)

i may not be beautiful but at least i know a lot of useless information

(Source: presidentbillclinton, via acdc-lover)

The person I reblogged this from is beautiful.

(Source: desolationofshmerg, via pour-some-sugar-on-sav)